


Geek Gifts

by Adina



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9844352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adina/pseuds/Adina
Summary: Tosh and Ianto bond over tech and their respective pasts.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [](http://copperbadge.livejournal.com/profile)[copperbadge](http://copperbadge.livejournal.com/) and [](http://madmogs.livejournal.com/profile)[madmogs](http://madmogs.livejournal.com/) for the beta.
> 
> Originally written in 2008.

"Ianto?"

Tosh waited patiently for her voice to penetrate Ianto's focus on the computer. If anyone was going to understand what her mother used to call a programmer's trance, Tosh was. She smiled; it was good to have someone else at Torchwood who knew computers, not just to use but someone who took joy in the elegance of logic, the challenge of a good puzzle. Ianto was self-taught, and it showed sometimes in his code, but he had a genius for thinking sideways, for slipping under, around, or through security protocols.

Of course their current task was to find and fix all the ways Ianto _had_ bypassed their security while hiding a Cyberman in the lower levels, ensuring that no one, including himself, could repeat the breach. Ianto was--as far as she could tell--cooperating completely.

Her voice seemed to have reached his conscious mind: he blinked, frowned, looked up at her. "Tosh?"

"Fancy a curry?" she said with a small smile, hoping she didn't look too pathetic.

Ianto opened his mouth, hesitated and looked at his monitor, closed it. "I--could order you something?" he offered. "I have to leave." He kept his eyes on his monitor, shutting down for the night quickly, saving his work but not leaving any of the meticulous notes he normally left at the end of the day.

"Got plans for tonight?" Of course he did. Only sad people like her had nothing better to do at night than work. Gwen and Owen had left two hours ago.

Ianto kept his gaze on the monitor, now showing nothing but a login screen. "I'm not allowed in the Hub after eight o'clock," he said quietly, his cheeks flushed. "Unless Jack okays it."

Oh. And ow. She remembered only too well the humiliation of having to tell someone the terms of her parole. She checked her watch; it was already half seven. "Nothing here that can't wait until morning," she said, her chirpiness sounding false even to her own ears. "Come on, we can get the good stuff at the Maharajah, eat it there."

He looked rather hopelessly around at the cluttered Hub, at the detritus of a long day. "I still need to clean up--" He looked up; she followed his gaze and found Jack watching them from the window of his office. She waved to Jack, slightly defiantly, and tugged on Ianto's hand.

"That can wait until morning, too," she said, pulling him to the cog door. He resisted for a moment and then gave in.

***

"You're good at this," she said after they got to the restaurant and ordered. As a conversational opener it wasn't great, but better than 'So, still vegetarian?' especially since she didn't want to talk about why they were both avoiding meat. Besides, he said no one ever asked him about himself. "Challenge-attacking the network, I mean."

He ducked his head, but not in embarrassment. "I've done it before." A private smile played across his face, making him look absurdly young. "My first job, when I was seventeen. I hacked into--into a businessman's computers, just out of curiosity. Got caught." Caught and hired, obviously.

There was something odd in the way he said 'businessman.' "What kind of business was he in?" she asked.

"Hmm?" He came out of whatever memory he was lost in--at least it looked like a happy one. "Oh, plastics, mostly. Some electronics. Nothing terribly interesting."

"Oh." It was her turn to duck her head, embarrassed by her own sense of melodrama. "I thought--" She shrugged.

Ianto caught on. "Oh, no. No, nothing criminal." He shook his head, smirking slightly. "Would have made a good Bond villain, though."

She was startled into laughter, only belatedly covering her mouth. "Jack--Jack would love that!" It was Ianto's turn to sputter. "Harkness. Jack Harkness," she said in her best Sean Connery voice. "On her majesty's secret service."

"We are, you know," Ianto said more soberly. She looked at him, not understanding. "Torchwood answers only to the crown."

Jack didn't answer to anyone as far as Tosh could see. But she didn't want to talk about Jack, not tonight, not so soon after Mary. "You work for your businessman long?"

"Long enough to patch the system." Ianto's shrug was easy and open and maybe not quite honest, she thought. "Six months steady, off and on for another two years. I wanted out of Cardiff, though. Wanted to see London." He smirked again, mopped up the last of his sauce with a piece of naan. "Heard about Torchwood after knocking about London for a while, decided I wanted in, so--" He gave a wicked grin and popped the bread in his mouth.

"You didn't!" He nodded solemnly, but his eyes were bright with suppressed laughter. "You hacked _Torchwood_?"

"I was lucky to come out of that remembering my own name," Ianto agreed, looking not at all repentant. "Lucky Grayson had a sense of humour." His eyes darkened and she guessed that whoever Grayson had been, he or she hadn't survived the battle of Canary Wharf. "That's how I met Lisa; we were assigned to upgrade security."

"Lisa Hallett." She pushed her plate away, suddenly feeling a bit sick. Ianto looked at her quizzically. "That was two years ago. In June."

"March, actually," Ianto said. "But we released the patch in June."

"I--we exchanged a few emails. The patch didn't sit right with Mainframe, not at first." She'd known the woman she'd shot. "I--" Her mobile went off and she wasn't sure whether to be glad or sorry. She checked the number, answered. "Jack?"

"Tosh." Jack's voice was all business. "We've got a Rift alert. Gwen's off with Rhys and Owen's half pissed. You two fit for duty?"

"Yes, of course." Ianto was already flagging down their waiter to get the bill. "We're at the Maharajah."

"Good. I'll be there in five." Jack disconnected.

The waiter knew them, knew Torchwood if not by name, and had the bill ready. Tosh snatched it before Ianto could and handed the waiter her 'company' credit card. "I think Jack can pick up any meal he doesn't let us finish, don't you?" Ianto shrugged but didn't object.

She'd just signed the receipt when Jack pulled up in front. She and Ianto dashed out, Tosh diving for the backseat and Ianto to the front. The Rift monitor was already up and running in the back, showing a location in a near suburb. "Multiple small incursions," she reported as Jack sped off. "At least ten, none over five kilos, possibly less."

"Police report a domestic disturbance, possible infestation by--rats?" Ianto said, pitch rising on the last word. "Neighbours called the police when they heard screaming, but the occupants were out in front of the house when the police got there."

"Warn the police off," Jack ordered.

"Already done, sir," Ianto said. "They're cordoning off the house."

Tosh tried to refine the readings from the Rift report, with limited success. "I can't even tell if it's organic or not," she complained. "Looks like seventeen whatever-they-are, though."

"Occupants report 'lots' of scurrying things," Ianto said, "running up the walls and ceiling as well as the floor."

"On the ceiling? Doesn't sound like any rat I've met," Jack said. "At least not on this planet."

Two police cars were pulled up in front of the house Tosh assumed was their target. One of the constables stayed with a middle-aged couple, the other intercepted them as they got out and headed for the house.

"You lot doing pest control now?" he demanded. It was Gwen's former partner, Andy something-or-another.

"Depends on the pest," Jack said. "Got a description?"

"Fast," Andy said. "Light coloured, maybe white. _He_ says they're big as hubcaps, _she_ says half a grapefruit."

"Round?" Jack asked.

Andy shrugged. "Apparently. They agree they appeared a few minutes before the neighbours called us, so 8:17 or so. She screamed, they all scurried for cover."

"Okay," Jack said, heading for the house again. Tosh followed.

"Thank you, constable," Ianto said before falling in on Jack's left.

The door to the house was unlocked. Jack drew his sidearm and pushed it open. Nothing happened. Tosh peered past Jack's shoulder and saw half a dozen moving spots, three on the floor, two on the far wall, and one against the ceiling where it met the wall. Behind the ones on the walls were trails, white swaths as wide as their--bodies?--in the pink paint, the trails crossing and crisscrossing.

"Scanner says semi-organic," Ianto reported. "But probably not alive. Some kind of technology, maybe?" At the sound of his voice the things dashed for cover, sliding under the sofa and behind the curio cabinet, flattening and widening to fit in the gaps. Before he even stopped talking they were gone, out of sight. "Sorry, sir," Ianto said.

"Mildly destructive but not immediately dangerous," Jack said absently, going to examine one of the white streaks.

"Careful, sir, it might be corrosive."

Tosh checked her scanner: six of the--creatures? devices?--were there in the lounge, another seven in the room beyond, probably the kitchen. The remaining four were upstairs. All but the ones in the lounge were still moving. "They're--communicating with each other," she reported, seeing the emissions. "Frequency similar to our Bluetooths."

"Take a look at this," Jack said, touching the white swath on the wall. "It took the paint off, left the plaster." He took his hand away, rubbed his fingers together with a curious frown. "No residue."

"No loss," Ianto said, giving the pink colour a jaundiced look. He turned his gaze to the floor, "The things have been kinder to the carpet. Unfortunately."

"You don't like the cabbage rose pattern, Ianto?" Jack asked. "I'm shocked."

"I was raised with a surfeit of taste, sir. Sorry to disappoint."

"The ones hiding in here aren't moving," Tosh said. "The energy readings suggest they're going dormant. The ones through there are still active," she added, waving to the door in the rear.

"Ah." Jack headed for the door, paused with his hand on the knob. "Not a word."

The--creatures--didn't react to the opening door, continuing to ooze along floor, walls, and ceiling as before. The walls of the kitchen were yellow, the colour of an acid drop, and the paint was being eaten away like the pink of the lounge. The linoleum and formica, tiny yellow flowers and butter yellow respectively, were faring better. Jack stepped forward silently, but as soon as his foot crossed the threshold the things were diving for cover, most ending up under the refrigerator and dishwasher, the rest under the cooker.

"They've gone dormant in here now," Tosh said. "Powering down."

"We need to fish one of them out," Jack said.

"There's always the traditional," Ianto said, brandishing a broom. He crouched down in front of the refrigerator, looked up at Jack. "I suggest you be ready to shoot anything that attacks me, sir." The gaze he and Jack exchanged spoke volumes--in a language Tosh didn't know. Ianto dropped his eyes first, staring at the floral linoleum instead. Jack drew his sidearm and Tosh followed suit.

"Ready," Jack said quietly, the sound of him cocking his gun loud in comparison.

Ianto poked the end of the broom handle into the gap under the refrigerator, angled it to nudge the things out. They came out in a silent stream, flowing away towards the dishwasher and disappearing under it. One bumbled against Ianto's hand, spread against the floor for balance, and he snatched it away, falling backwards. But the device only froze, an amber light starting to flash on its back. Jack motioned them both away from it, reaching down without looking away from it to haul Ianto to his feet, pushing him behind Jack.

The device neither exploded nor attacked. "It's dormant again," she said, "not powering up. No signs of imminent activity."

Some of Jack's tension released. "Ianto, get a containment unit from the SUV."

The device was round, made of a semi-translucent white material, the amber light showing through without obvious source. As it sat, its diameter contracted, raising the centre until it resembled the half grapefruit Andy said the woman described. The bottom edge was fringed with cilia of the same or similar material, like the tentacles of a sea anemone. It reminded her vaguely of something, but she couldn't think what.

The amber light was still blinking when Ianto returned with the containment unit, the device still powered down. It stayed powered down as Jack gingerly picked it up and deposited it in the unit. After that the clean up was lengthy but uneventful--nudge the things out of cover with the broom, immobilize them with a touch, drop them in the containment unit. It was reassuringly anticlimactic.

***

Ianto was the first out of the SUV when Jack parked it in the garage, heading for the Hub without unloading the containment unit.

"Ianto," Jack called as soon as he was out. Ianto stopped, looked back.

"If they're communicating by radio frequency the containment unit needs to be shielded before entering the Hub, sir." He turned a little away from Jack. "I'll--just go get the shielding, shall I?" His shoulders were hunched, defensive.

"Ianto." Jack's voice was patient, weary. "Go home."

Ianto flinched but didn't even try to argue. It would have been less painful to watch if he'd argued, if he'd got angry. "Yes, sir." He turned back, walked past Jack and Tosh without meeting either of their eyes. "Good night," he said only after his back was to them.

Tosh waited until he was out of hearing, until she had her voice under control. "Jack. Ianto--Ianto's not a security threat. Especially with both of us here!"

Jack looked up from contemplating the containment unit. "I know that," he said, perfectly evenly. "Tosh--" He sighed. "It's late. You should go home too, get your beauty sleep. I can deal with these for tonight."

Jack would do what Jack thought was right, the hell with anyone else. "Good night," she said shortly, turning to follow Ianto without another word.

***

Ianto was mopping the floor when she arrived the next morning at eight. She tried not to stare at him, failed. "I've--never seen you wear jeans," she said stupidly. "I mean besides the once."

"Wool and mop water aren't a good combination." Ianto wouldn't meet her eyes. "Sorry. I'm usually finished by now." His hand on the mop handle was fascinating, it appeared. "Took me longer than normal this morning." Because of the rubbish she had insisted he leave last night, she realized.

"Oh. Okay." She hesitated. It felt--wrong, just to go and sit down at her computer while he worked. He was her colleague, not some anonymous janitor, half seen and never noticed. "I--is there anything I can do to help?"

He shut his eyes. "Tosh--"

Right, not helping. "I'll--I'm going to go to that bakery--" She gave a vague wave. "Get some scones and stuff?"

His relief was palpable. "Sounds good. Can you get Jack a chocolate croissant?"

"Can do," she said, glad to have negotiated the awkwardness. She paused, realizing he'd asked for Jack, not himself. "But what about you? What should I get for you?"

He smiled, shrugged. "I'm not picky."

She dawdled at the bakery, wanting to give him plenty of time to finish, angry with herself because she didn't know a single thing that he particularly liked. Finally she ordered too much of everything and headed back.

Her delaying tactic worked. She found Ianto in the kitchen, hair still damp but impeccably dressed in a dark grey suit with a faint red strip, the coffee half finished. "Good morning," he said cheerfully. "Perfect timing." Their earlier encounter was to be forgotten. She could do that.

"Good morning." She watched as he calmly, meticulously assembled mugs and plates on a tray, sorting through the bakery bag to put the chocolate croissant on one plate, her own favourite almond croissant on another. His was apricot--she tried to remember that, knew she would forget.

He seemed content to play their butler, unembarrassed by the role, even a little proud of his ability to provide what was needed, when it was need, and to keep them on an even keel. But she remembered the corrosive pain she'd overheard while wearing Mary's pendant and how little of that showed on his face.

She put a hand on his arm before he could pick up the tray. "Ianto--" She almost instantly regretted her impulsiveness when he glanced at her hand, looked at her face, waited. "Are you--how are you? Really?" This sort of thing was Gwen's job, not hers, dammit.

He gave a small smile, not terribly happy looking. "Better for being asked." He turned his attention to the coffee machine. "I'm fine, Tosh. Really."

She slid her hand down to cover his, squeezed, let him go. "Okay."

The coffee done, he poured each cup, doctored it to its recipient's taste, picked up the tray. Nodding for her to precede him, he followed her to her workstation, placing plate and cup neatly on the edge of her desk. "Thank you," she said, which he acknowledged with another nod. This was not the Ianto of last night's dinner, relaxed and casual. She stopped him with a fingertip touch to his wrist before he could turn to go. "Could you start an archive search for those things from last night? When you have a chance?"

His smile edged on a smirk, definitely smug. "I started one when I came in. It should finish in ten minutes."

Mainframe was fast, but the archive was huge, a hundred thirty years of Torchwood and UNIT. "When did you get in?"

"Seven." So maybe it wasn't just cleaning up yesterday's rubbish that made him late this morning. He looked up at Jack's office and of course Jack was watching them. Him. "Excuse me." He left, taking the stairs to Jack's office.

Three annoying emails from UNIT wanting updates on the security project--she hated working with UNIT, they all seemed to know her history and expected priority service from her as a result--and a worrisome anomaly in the Rift readings (Was it even possible to have a _negative_ Rift spike?) demanded her immediate attention. She disposed of them, checked the results of Ianto's archive search--no matches--and then went back to her translation project. She drank her coffee on autopilot, only noticed her pastry when it was gone. She vaguely heard Ianto and Jack moving around behind her, talking, but ignored them until a flashing red box on her screen broke her concentration. She clicked on it, saw that the threat was contained.

Swivelling her chair around, she saw Jack and Ianto standing by a bulky shielded containment unit, Jack placing one of last night's devices on Su--on what had been Suzie's workbench. She got up and walked over. The thing was still immobile, still blinking its amber light. "It found the Bluetooth frequencies," she said. "Tried to connect to the network. It's quarantined to a virtual machine right now." Mainframe could create any number of illusory copies of itself that looked real to any invader but contained no data or connection to the real world.

Ianto looked up from his contemplation of the thing. "It recognized Mainframe? And vice versa?"

She nodded. Torchwood's computer was--not exactly Earthly technology, or at least not contemporary Earth technology. Jack had been evasive about where it really came from, but she assumed the Rift. "It's either compatible or adaptable." Independence Day to the contrary, most alien technology had too little in common with Earth technology to connect, like trying to listen to an AM broadcast on an FM-only radio. "Of course our system's pretty adaptable too."

"But it might mean that they come from the same place," Ianto said.

"Same time," Jack corrected, and that was as much of a clue about Mainframe as he'd ever given.

"Within the same range," Tosh said. "I assume backwards compatibility will always be a requirement." Tomorrow's toys had to play with yesterday's, that would never change.

They continued batting around ideas until Ianto glanced at his watch. "Sir? Your nine o'clock call with Colonel Mace?" Jack pulled a face and pounded up the stairs to his office. Ianto moved more quietly back to the kitchen, started more coffee. On cue the cog door rolled back, revealing a damp and annoyed Owen. Ianto held out a cup and had it snatched from his hands. "Good morning," Ianto said blandly.

"I don't know what's good about it," Owen complained, rummaging in the bakery bag. "Bloody weather can't decide if it's raining or not. You feel like a right prat using an umbrella but you get wet all the same." He looked up from the bag, gave Ianto an accusing glare. "Didn't you get any of those blueberry muffins I like?"

" _I_ went to the bakery and no I didn't," Tosh said before Ianto could respond. Owen could be such a bastard. "I didn't know you liked them."

Owen held up his hands like she was the one being snippy. "I only asked." He grabbed two scones, ignored Ianto's proffered plate, wandered off.

"He'll be marginally more civilized after he wakes up," Ianto said dryly.

Gwen was next, rushing in with a complaint about traffic. "Oh, thanks, love," she said, taking her coffee and the plate Ianto held out. "Rhys burned the toast this morning. We're going to have to buy a new toaster one of these days." She took a bite, washed it down. "Ianto, were you able to retrieve those psych reports about the Brecon Beacons?"

"They're on your computer," Ianto said.

"You're a miracle. Thanks." And she was off.

"Can you give me access to the quarantine virtual machine?" Ianto said, wiping down the coffee maker and reclosing the bakery bag. "I want to see if the device is trying to subvert the network or what."

"I can do that." She smiled up at him; a month ago Gwen would have asked Tosh, yet another interruption in her day. "You are a miracle."

***

Tosh had just fended off another email from UNIT and was wondering if Ianto would mind making another round of coffee when Jack charged out of his office, coat flying behind him. "Ianto. You're with me," he called without stopping.

"Little early for a nooner," Owen said while Ianto was still grabbing his Burberry. "It's just gone ten."

"Owen!" Gwen protested. Ianto ignored them both.

"What? It's not like there's a Rift alert or anything!"

***

Jack and Ianto returned just before one with Chinese food for lunch and no explanation of where they had been. From Ianto's sombre expression and Jack's glare at Owen's jibes, Tosh could guarantee they weren't off having fun.

After lunch Tosh stopped Ianto before he left the conference room. "Can you finish testing the security patch this afternoon? Major Winds from UNIT is getting testy." The major didn't know the security breach was more than theoretical thanks to Jack, but it revealed a similar vulnerability at UNIT that the major took very personally.

Ianto's lips compressed. "Yes, of course." Anyone but Ianto would have sighed, she thought. "Let me lock last night's device up and I'll get right on it."

"Your alien paint stripper?" Owen asked. Jack had told the tale during lunch, with rather more grand gestures and heroics than Tosh remembered. "I'd like to see that."

"We could have used something like that when Rhys and I did the lounge," Gwen said, falling in with what was turning into a mass outing to see the device. "Orange paint left over from the seventies, covered over with cheap beige just before it went on the market. After a month it started showing through."

"Our flat in London, someone thought it a good idea to paint the closets black," Ianto offered. Our. His and Lisa's? "You needed a torch to find your trousers."

"There are more enjoyable reasons to be searching for your trousers in the dark," Jack said. "Or someone's trousers--" he trailed off suggestively.

Owen pointed a finger at him. "Oi! Don't you start."

The device was sitting on Suzie-- _Ianto's_ workbench, still immobile, still blinking. Gwen ostentatiously put her hands behind her back. "It's safe to touch," Ianto said, picking it up and showing them the underside, completely covered in the cilia that showed around the edges. "Each tentacle appears to be a tube, almost like a mouth." He set it back down.

"It ate the paint?" Gwen asked.

"Complete with solvent saliva," Ianto agreed.

"Lovely," Owen said, poking a finger at the device. He touched it in the centre of the amber light and it went out. The device came to life, flowing off the table and dropping to the floor. Ianto dived after it, landing flat on his front, but came up short as it squeezed into an impossibly narrow gap in the floor grate.

"Shit," Owen said succinctly. He looked at Jack, rather shamefaced, and then rounded on Ianto, still sprawled on the floor. "I thought you said the thing was safe to touch!"

Ianto got to his feet, rather stiffly. "It didn't do that when I touched it."

"We all knew you were special, Owen," Jack said in the lazy drawl Tosh was coming to hate. It would be easier if he just yelled at them, chose whatever arcane punishment he thought fit the crime.

"Can we take up the floor?" Gwen asked.

"Not easily," Jack said. "Besides, how would we keep the thing from scuttling deeper?"

"If we could touch it--" Ianto said.

"Easier said than done." Jack's gaze at Ianto was a challenge. Ianto straightened, brushed his hands down his rumpled suit.

"Before we left this morning I was checking into the device's attempt to communicate with Mainframe," Ianto said, each word precise, his Welsh accent almost obliterated. "It didn't appear to be trying to invade the network, only waiting for commands. If we can figure out its commands we can order it to come out."

"You think you can figure it out?" Jack was leaning against a post, hands on his braces, a lazy smile playing on his lips. It was bollocks, pure playacting, but so much of Jack was.

"Yes." The word was short and clipped.

"Okay then." Jack straightened up from his post. "Tosh, Major Winds is just going to have to wait. If he gets too annoying, transfer him to me." He turned to leave, stopped when Owen put a hand on Ianto's chest.

"Not so fast, mate." Owen ignored Ianto's flinch and his resulting glare. "I want you in the in the med bay first. I saw how hard you hit the floor there and the last thing I need is a call at three in the bloody morning because you re-injured those ribs."

Tosh turned away, hiding a fond smile; Owen wasn't nearly the bastard he wanted to pretend to be. Jack was leaving too, ignoring Ianto and Owen's low-voiced argument until he got to the door of his office. "Humour the doctor, Ianto," he called down.

***

Ianto dove into the device's programming as soon as Owen released him from the med bay. Four o'clock came and went without Ianto even coming up for air. Tosh looked over at him, caught Gwen watching him as well. Gwen drifted over to Tosh's workstation.

"Starbucks?" Gwen asked softly. She might as well have shouted for any chance that she would have had of Ianto noticing. Tosh nodded; context-based disambiguation algorithms required caffeine, lots of it. "Soy latte?"

Tosh nodded again. "Please. Café Americano for Jack, black. Hazelnut mocha for Owen."

"Ianto?" Gwen asked. Tosh gave her a helpless look. "Right, you don't know either."

"I watched him make coffee just this morning," Tosh said, low and furious with herself. She pushed her glasses up, ran her fingers through her hair. "Double espresso, steamed milk, extra foam," she said decisively. Gwen's eyes were wide and her expression pleased. "Only a masochist drinks Starbucks black," she added with a shrug. "Anything else he can add here."

Gwen snickered. "Jack drinks it black."

"Jack can survive things that we mere mortals can't," Tosh said. Gwen gave her a funny look at that but didn't comment.

***

As the day wore on Ianto was hunched further and further forward in his chair, as if force of will alone could crack the command structure. At ten to eight Tosh saw him glance up at Jack's office window before turning resolutely, defiantly back to the computer. At half eight Jack emerged from his office.

The hand Jack laid on Ianto's shoulder was gentle, she had to admit, as was his quiet "Ianto." The look Ianto gave him was filled with defeat.

"I'm close, sir. Really close," Ianto said, looking up over his shoulder. "I've found a discovery file--it's meant to be programmed from an outside system, lists all the valid commands. Only the function names are in something akin to Spanish." His eyes were pleading.

Jack leaned towards the monitor, hand still resting lightly on Ianto's shoulder. "Esperanto, actually," he said, leaning back again.

Ianto's head whipped back around to stare at the screen, his hands returning to the keyboard. "Tosh, do we have an Esperanto dictionary on the network or do I need to go online to find one?"

She was already looking, found it. "I'm sending it to your screen."

Jack used his hand on Ianto's shoulder to swivel his chair to face Jack. "It's after eight," he said inexorably.

"Jack--" Ianto protested.

"Go home," Jack ordered. "Eat, take the nice painkillers Owen gave you, come back in the morning. I doubt it can destroy the Hub overnight."

"Jack--" His voice if anything was even more desperate.

Jack held a finger in front of Ianto's lips, shushing him, then brushed the same hand across his temple. Ianto shut his eyes and Tosh shifted uncomfortably in her chair, knowing she shouldn't witness this, unable to look away. Gradually the tension drained from Ianto's shoulders as they slumped. They stayed like that for a long moment before Ianto swivelled back to his workstation and began shutting down for the night. Jack let his hands fall away but didn't move from his position at Ianto's back. Finally Ianto stood, rather stiffly, and walked out the cog door without a word. Jack kept staring at the blank screen.

He was awfully calm, even blasé about an unknown device loose in the Hub. "You know what that thing is," she blurted out.

Jack turned to look at her as if remembering her presence for the first time. "I read Esperanto," he said with a smirk.

"What is it?" she demanded.

"Harmless," Jack said. He considered, flipped a hand up. "Mostly harmless."

"You should have told Ianto."

Jack's grin had all the teeth and sincerity of a shark's. "Our Mr. Jones hid a veritable bonfire--a forest fire--of talent under a bushel basket his first months here. _That_ is almost more unforgivable than hiding a cyber-conversion unit in the basement."

"You're testing him." Which--made sense. Except that she remembered Ianto's desperation and defeat. "What does he have to do to pass?"

"Pass?" Jack gave a strangled laugh. " _Pass_?" He turned back to his office, shaking his head.

***

The Hub was empty and dark when she got there the next morning at eight. No Jack, no Ianto. Just low plywood boxes scattered across the floor, an even dozen, each about two inches high and two feet square.

"Tosh! Up here," Jack called from the conference room door.

She picked her way across the room to the stairs. Ianto looked up from a laptop when she came in, nodded. Jack shut the door behind her and crossed to stand behind Ianto, looking over his shoulder. She peeked over Ianto's other shoulder and saw the CCTV of the Hub. Jack and Ianto waited expectantly and she waited with them, wondering what they expected to happen.

"There!" Ianto said, stabbing the screen with a finger. She leaned forward to see the device edging out of a crack and beginning its aimless wander across the Hub floor. Jack went back to the door, poised with a hand on the knob.

"Closer, closer," Ianto coaxed. He waited until the device passed in front of one of the boxes. "Now!" he called. Jack flung open the door, stepped out. On screen the device flattened out and slid behind the Rift manipulator. "Damn. No good," Ianto said.

Jack stepped back in, closed the door again. He looked up at Tosh. "There's coffee in the thermos if you want it," he said. "But you'll have to go out and get a cup."

"I'm good." If she went out the device would stay in hiding.

The next try was similarly unsuccessful, but the time after that the device took refuge under one of the boxes.

"We got it," Ianto said, shoving his chair back to join Jack on the balcony. "The one closest to the med bay." Tosh followed them out but stayed on the balcony as they bounded down the stairs together like two boys eager to see what Father Christmas left them.

Jack knelt by the box while Ianto dragged two of the other boxes closer. "In case we miss it," Ianto said. "Hopefully it will take up residence in one of these instead of someplace less accessible."

"Let's not miss it," Jack said, his words at odds with the approving look he gave Ianto.

"We aim to please, sir," Ianto said, crouching beside him.

"And very pleasing it is," Jack said, his gaze obviously focused on Ianto's arse and the denim pulled taut over it.

Ianto gave him a startled look. Tosh hadn't heard Jack flirt with or tease Ianto since--since _then_ \--treating him with the same neutral nonsexuality that he gave--well, that he gave Tosh herself. "Careful, sir, that's harassment," Ianto said, not quite managing his former delivery but close. Jack smirked.

"Ready?" he asked. Ianto nodded and Jack reached under the box, hand flat to the floor. The device avoided him and appeared, only to be touched, grabbed, by Ianto and go still. It was a safety feature, she thought, something weapons in her experience were sadly lacking. "Bravo," Jack said, his voice low, his gaze locked on Ianto's face.

Ianto looked away, looked down, but he was smiling. "I'll--put this away, then," he said, lifting the device a few inches. Jack watched with obvious enjoyment as he stood up.

"Let's disassemble your mousetraps," Jack said, getting to his feet and then bending over to pick up the trap at his feet, not incidentally showing off his own arse. Tosh covered her mouth; it was better than a nature documentary on BBC1. "Then I want you to keep working on cracking their command code. Even with this one contained again I'll feel better knowing what they are." Which was a lie--Jack knew what they were, could have told Ianto. And _she_ could have told Ianto that if she weren't afraid of crossing Jack's will.

"As soon as I finish cleaning up," Ianto said, bending to pick up the two plywood traps at his feet.

"Leave the mopping," Jack said. Ianto opened his mouth but Jack stared him down. "The Hub has survived longer than two days without a thorough cleaning."

Ianto gave him a _look_. "Which is why it took me a week to get the smell of mildew out of my suit after my first day." Before Ianto the floors had been mopped anytime a particularly noxious alien bled over them, sometimes not even then. And Ianto was right, it had stunk, but she'd never thought how much effort it took to keep the place smelling nice.

"Ianto-" Jack gave a particularly wide, cheesy grin. "Trust me."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Yes, sir."

***

Ianto stayed in his jeans and tee-shirt, which was oddly disconcerting--every time she saw him out of the corner of her eye she kept thinking there was a stranger in the Hub. But the enhancements she'd thought up yesterday were coming along nicely and she soon stopped paying attention.

She looked up to see if Jack was around--he was still their expert on alien languages, never mind how he learned so many --and found him and Ianto in a low-voiced, tense conversation. Or at least Ianto was tense; Jack seemed to be enjoying it. "You knew," Ianto said, his voice very, very controlled. "You knew what it is but you let me waste my time--"

"You were being so clever," Jack said with a lazy smile.

Ianto's fists clenched as he visibly refrained from punching Jack. "Do I amuse you, sir? Do I _entertain_ you?"

Jack chuckled, actually chuckled. "Immeasurably." He grinned, "Oh, come on, Ianto. Tell me you weren't having fun this morning!"

Ianto's right fist twitched and then he was turning on his heel, stalking for the cog door like an offended cat.

"But his mousetraps were clever," Jack said in mock complaint to Tosh when the door had rolled shut. "Brilliant, even." He was still chuckling.

Tosh grabbed her purse, stood up. "Do you know what I heard with Mary's pendant?" she demanded. "Pain!" she answered before he could make another stupid joke. "You're playing games with him and he's tearing himself apart trying to please you, terrified of losing--losing the only thing he has left!" Jack didn't try to stop her, didn't call after her.

Ianto was in the tourist office when she got up there, sitting behind the desk staring at the opposite wall. "Come on," she said, hardly breaking step on her way to the door. "It's Saturday, we're going out for lunch. Or coffee. Or the whole fucking day."

"Jack--"

Tosh stopped then with her hand on the door. "Jack is a bastard," she said carefully, evenly. "Coming?"

***

It was actually sunny out, which was far too rare to miss. They bought fish and chips and ate on a bench overlooking the water, eating in silence except for the squabbling of the ever-hopeful seagulls. After picking at his food for a while Ianto threw the last at the gulls.

"I should go back," he said dully, the hot red of temper gone grey.

She knew the fear of breaking parole. "Jack didn't send me back to UNIT after Mary," she said, forcing a laugh. "I'm sure he can overlook an unannounced lunch." She knew he would forgive her yelling at him; really, she knew that.

"Maybe." He studied the pavement at his feet, making no move to return to the Hub until she finished her food. "UNIT?" he asked while she was throwing the rest of her chips to the gulls. "I thought you were Ministry of Defence."

She froze, the ball of greasy paper clenched in her hand, the food a lead weight in her stomach. "I was--I was MOD until--" She'd never told anyone of her disgrace; Jack and Suzie already knew and Suzie made sure the rest of the team did too. Except she couldn't have told Gwen and apparently she hadn't told Ianto. "Suzie never told you?"

Ianto turned his head sideways, elbows still resting on his knees. "Despite what Jack thinks--thought--Suzie wasn't big on sharing her secrets with the teaboy. Even if I was Torchwood One."

"Not her secrets," she said. "Mine." She didn't mind telling Ianto, she realized. If anyone would understand, he would. And maybe it would make it easier on him to know he wasn't the only one who had fucked up in a big way.

She told the story of her mother's kidnapping and her crime as succinctly and baldly as she could, trying not to gloss over anything or make excuses. "I still have two years left on my--" She hesitated, considering and rejecting several euphemisms. "--sentence, but Jack--even in my first year Jack was breaking the rules for me, taking me to see my mother." Her loyalty was bought and paid for, the mortgage on her soul coming due every time she called her mother, every time her mother came to visit, every time she had the time away from Torchwood to travel to London to see her grandfather and cousins.

"It's not in your records," Ianto said, still studying the pavement. "Not even in UNIT's database."

The words didn't make sense. "What?"

"There's no record or accusation of--" She heard him not say the word treason, was grateful. "--of any crime in Torchwood's database or UNIT's." He turned to look at her again. "I needed to know who you all were." To manipulate them, to hide the Cyb--to hide Lisa Hallett from them. "I hacked pretty deep, but all I found is that you worked for the Ministry of Defence--glowing reviews--and then transferred to Torchwood Three at the personal request of Captain Jack Harkness." He gave a twisted smile. "Given Jack's reputation, I assumed you and he--" He smirked and she hit him on the arm.

"Jack has never--" she protested automatically. Jack--Jack erased her records, washed her shame from every memory but hers and his, Owen's and Ianto's.

"Never?" Ianto asked with patent disbelief. "So much for your theory that he'll shag anything if it's gorgeous enough." He was smiling, teasing her.

She could feel her face go hot. "I'm not--"

Ianto shook his head. "Remind me when we get back to the Hub to put in an order for a new mirror in the women's changing room."

That was too much. "Ianto!"

An hour and an ice cream later Ianto insisted on returning to the Hub, his animation draining away as they approached the tourist office. Before the cog door rolled back he reached for his throat to straighten the tie he wasn't wearing, dropping his hands to wipe his palms on his jeans instead.

"Blame me if you want," she said, reaching up to lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you, but I--" The door rolled open and he stopped, staring. The floor and lower walls of the Hub were crawling with the devices, what had to be all seventeen from last night, though they were moving too fast to be easily countable.

"Watch your step," Jack called from the balcony. "Turning off their stealth mode seems to have messed with their ability to avoid people." The devices didn't scurry for cover as Ianto cautiously stepped into the Hub. One of them rammed her foot, though, and froze. She looked up and Jack nodded. "Press the centre, where the light is," he said unnecessarily. She reset it and dodged as it oozed away. She and Ianto picked their way to the stairs and up to the balcony.

"Learning mode," Jack said, leaning over the railing to watch the devices, not looking at her or Ianto. "They stop if they encounter anything they don't recognize. So far they've identified mildew, mould, and three kinds of alien fungus, and have learned not to eat power cords, anti-skid strips, and paint." He gave Ianto a hesitant and slightly off-kilter smile. "Though you have my permission to program it to destroy tacky patterned carpet on sight." He looked away. "I--um--translated the function names and parameters for you. Should save you some time." It wasn't an apology, but then again Jack didn't do apologies.

Ianto leaned over the railing, watching the devices scour the floor, his posture mirroring Jack's. "Very useful." He might have meant the devices, he might have meant Jack's translations. The corner of his mouth quirked up. "Clean Machines."

Jack chuckled. "Better than General Dynamics P192 Household Macrobot," he said. "Trademark."

Tosh leaned against the railing on the other side of Ianto from Jack. There was something restful about watching the clean machines work. "Much," she agreed.

"No more mopping," Jack mused. Tosh glanced sideways at Ianto, saw him smile. Did Jack know how much Ianto hated that job? "They even do windows." And another task she'd never thought about, the clean, streak-free walls of glass behind her. After Ianto things just happened. Or no, they just _were_ \--they were clean and organized and worked, all without thought. "I don't want you to come in before eight from now on," Jack added casually.

Ianto's smile vanished and she could feel the cold knot in his stomach as easily as if she were still wearing Mary's pendant. "Because you need more time to have a life away from the Hub," she said, hearing more than a hint of a snap in her own voice. "Right, Jack?"

Jack straightened to look at her across Ianto's back, meeting her glare with a what-did-I-do look. He leaned against the rail again, his hand a hairbreadth from Ianto's. "You work too hard," he said gently.

Ianto glanced up from his intent study of Jack's hand. "Someone has to."

"You need to remember what you're fighting for," Jack said, also studying their hands, side by side. "Sunlight. People." He waved a hand, apparently at a loss for further examples. "Birds. Flowers. Trees."

"And you don't? Sir?" Ianto's tone was politely barbed.

Jack looked away. "I know why I'm here. And what I'm waiting for."

A two-tone whistle sounded from the Hub floor, drawing their attention to a frozen clean machine flashing purple.

"Found something it can't identify," Jack said in a completely different tone of voice, turning for the laptop still set up in the conference room.

Ianto glanced at the floor, gazed up at the ceiling lost in the shadows high above. "Most likely sheep's blood or guano," he said, faintly apologetically.

Jack followed his gaze to the ceiling. "The joy of house pets."

Ianto turned to look at Jack. "She does the best she can, sir."

"That's all I want from you, Ianto," Jack said, catching Ianto's eyes and holding them. "Your best. And that's all I'll accept from you. Because when I'm done with you we'll both know exactly what you're capable of." He grinned. "And you'll probably be running the world."

***


End file.
